I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

Coming home to realise my husband had invited over several younger, more attractive women and was trying to hide them in the bedroom before I found out.

Turns out he wasn’t having sex with them, he was getting them to bake cakes from scratch and tidy up around the place.

Making out with Barack Obama in the backseat of a car during a parade. We'd been discussing our histories and it was inevitable: he was a Goal Defender, I, a Goal Attack.